“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” –Unknown
It was one of those nights. I was at a wedding, enjoying myself thoroughly and then someone popped the question: “So, what do you do?”
Within a few seconds my fun, happy, playful side vanished and in entered a girl full of doubts and insecurity.
The truth was… I had no freaking idea about what I was doing!
I didn’t have a “corporate job” so to speak. Besides looking after an aged parent, managing and running a home and other domestic affairs, I have been on a journey of self discovery since I don’t know how long. That question stripped me down to feeling naked and exposed. And because I didn’t have a job title, I had nothing externally to “prove” my worthiness with.
Of course I have had many moments of doubt in the past too, but even when I doubted myself, I always said yes to life and tried to find something worthwhile to do with my time.
But that day when that question hit me, did I for a moment confuse self-confidence with self-esteem? Oops! Maybe I did.
I know Self-confidence is about trusting yourself and your abilities. While Self-esteem, on the other hand, is about how you see yourself. It’s about your perception of your worth.
Well, if you are high-achiever, it’s easy to trick yourself and think you have self-esteem. Until you aren’t one. That’s when the sh*t hits the fan…What do you do in such circumstances?
They say your biggest breakdowns often become your greatest breakthroughs. So can you say that no matter what happens on the outside, do you treat still yourself with love, care, and respect or not? I myself have some off days, when everything around me makes me want to think otherwise.
Come to think of it, why does self love take so much of an effort when ideally it should be the most natural thing in the world? I mean you really are the Only One, who you will be spending the rest of your life with, isn’t it?
It’s easy to be loving toward ourselves when things go as planned, when we succeed and people like us. But when things fall apart, we screw up or get rejected. That’s when we are the hardest on ourselves. And that’s exactly when we must choose to be the most loving and forgiving with ourselves.
One thing I’ve had a hard time accepting about myself is that at times, and for no real reason, I can get very nervous. Sometimes the simplest of things feel very difficult. Instead of rejecting this nervous side of myself, I’m reminding myself to accept it.
Desires are very powerful things. We should never ever give them up or lose focus on them. When we manifest those desires, we feel good about ourselves, and our thinking is aligned with how our soul/higher self sees us.
Life is full of ups and downs. Health can transfer into disease. Successes can be turned into collapses. Romantic love can be transformed into coldness. But, no matter what happens on the outside, we must still have a solid foundation built on self-love. Self-love should never be a luxury; it should be as natural as breathing.
We must realize that only by caring for ourselves, can we truly care for this world.
Remember all your actions have a ripple effect on others.
Be love and be loving !