As you get older, you gain perspective from the rear view mirror of your life.
There is something about aging that both men and women become more accepting of others and themselves.
This is especially true for women in the age group 50-70. They are less concerned about the opinion of others and are more determined to live life on their own terms.
There have been quite a few women who I have known since they were in their twenties and are now aging gracefully.
I guess it has more to do that after spending pretty much a lot of their youth on tending to their marriage, home and kids and they have more of “me” time as they get older. And with that “me” time comes a lot of satisfactory revelations, every now and then on how they would have lived differently if given another chance.
In fact come to think about it, these would have been the same things I would have changed, given the chance.
“I wish I hadn’t bowed to the family pressure to get married”.
“I know for a fact that if I had to relive those days gone by I wish I would have stopped being so afraid and taken more risks with regards to having a career. I could have juggled my time , got out of my comfort zone and held on to the needs of my own as against bowing to the needs of others first”.
“I wish I would have had a home to call my own rather than living with my in laws”.
“I wish I would have I’d trust myself and my talents more”.
“I wish I would have spent more time with my children”.
“I wish my partner understood me and my needs more”.
“I wish I would have looked after my health and endorsed a well regimented exercise program”.
“I wish I would have spent more time with my friends”.
“I wish I hadn’t allowed other people’s fears/ignorance to affect me so deeply that I would blunt my ambitions/dreams to please them”.
“I wish I would have the guts to say no and mean it”.
“I wish I would have taken up formal lessons in Dancing. I think it is the most liberating form of self expression”.
“I wish I would breathe, before I react and understand that I don’t have to have an opinion on everything”.
“I wish I could just pause and see life from a new lens”.
A lot of wisdom and comfort comes with time. Sometimes, the answer is just time — enough time to outlive the struggles in your 20’s and 30’s so that you can develop the mettle to balance the challenges that come in your 50’s and beyond.
There will be many times when you will need more than advice to overcome personal struggles. “Embrace your age” and love who you are now. It is the key to a happy, healthy and positive aging.
Don’t bother about wanting to turn back the clock. Give yourself the gift of a well-lived life.
Live a simple and healthy life by incorporating a few lifestyle changes and habits.
Don’t forget to do the small often ignored things that will make you content.
You will live as much as been gifted to you. Just live in such a way that each day is a celebration of your life!
“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” –Unknown
It was one of those nights. I was at a wedding, enjoying myself thoroughly and then someone popped the question: “So, what do you do?”
Within a few seconds my fun, happy, playful side vanished and in entered a girl full of doubts and insecurity.
The truth was… I had no freaking idea about what I was doing!
I didn’t have a “corporate job” so to speak. Besides looking after an aged parent, managing and running a home and other domestic affairs, I have been on a journey of self discovery since I don’t know how long. That question stripped me down to feeling naked and exposed. And because I didn’t have a job title, I had nothing externally to “prove” my worthiness with.
Of course I have had many moments of doubt in the past too, but even when I doubted myself, I always said yes to life and tried to find something worthwhile to do with my time.
But that day when that question hit me, did I for a moment confuse self-confidence with self-esteem? Oops! Maybe I did.
I know Self-confidence is about trusting yourself and your abilities. While Self-esteem, on the other hand, is about how you see yourself. It’s about your perception of your worth.
Well, if you are high-achiever, it’s easy to trick yourself and think you have self-esteem. Until you aren’t one. That’s when the sh*t hits the fan…What do you do in such circumstances?
They say your biggest breakdowns often become your greatest breakthroughs. So can you say that no matter what happens on the outside, do you treat still yourself with love, care, and respect or not? I myself have some off days, when everything around me makes me want to think otherwise.
Come to think of it, why does self love take so much of an effort when ideally it should be the most natural thing in the world? I mean you really are the Only One, who you will be spending the rest of your life with, isn’t it?
It’s easy to be loving toward ourselves when things go as planned, when we succeed and people like us. But when things fall apart, we screw up or get rejected. That’s when we are the hardest on ourselves. And that’s exactly when we must choose to be the most loving and forgiving with ourselves.
One thing I’ve had a hard time accepting about myself is that at times, and for no real reason, I can get very nervous. Sometimes the simplest of things feel very difficult. Instead of rejecting this nervous side of myself, I’m reminding myself to accept it.
Desires are very powerful things. We should never ever give them up or lose focus on them. When we manifest those desires, we feel good about ourselves, and our thinking is aligned with how our soul/higher self sees us.
Life is full of ups and downs. Health can transfer into disease. Successes can be turned into collapses. Romantic love can be transformed into coldness. But, no matter what happens on the outside, we must still have a solid foundation built on self-love. Self-love should never be a luxury; it should be as natural as breathing.
We must realize that only by caring for ourselves, can we truly care for this world.
Remember all your actions have a ripple effect on others.
Be love and be loving !
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”
Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”
Passenger: “Sounds like he was really something special.”
Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.”
Passenger: “Wow, what a guy!”
Cabbie: ‘He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”
Passenger: “How did you meet him?”
Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”
Well isn’t Perfection such a myth? It’s like climbing a staircase that never ends. Being “perfect” isn’t something that is taught or found in a “how to” book; it’s something you find within yourself. The most important thing is being honest with yourself and accepting who you really are. The moment you’re comfortable in your own skin, and are doing things you love … that’s the moment you’ll know perfection.
When we are ensnared by the vision of a perfect person, we compare all others to an unreachable standard… and find everyone lacking. Our expectation that a perfect person exists is surely to guarantee failure. The demand for compatibility is never satisfied. When people agree about almost everything, the few points of difference can still seem — to them — enormous. …the ‘right person’ is specified so closely that they will never find such a person; they will always be disappointed because whoever they find will fall short in some way.
Waiting for Mr/Ms Perfect to come along is to say that you have no personal responsibility for what happens to you. When a relationship fails, we do not consider that we might lack humility, empathy or understanding. Instead, we invoke a convenient excuse and say, “We just weren’t right for each other.”
Love is not simply about finding the right person. It’s also about cultivating a set of valuable skills: kindness, sympathy, and understanding. But no matter what, always remember, relationships are hard, complicated, triggering, and yet so utterly worthwhile if we do the work. Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. To love someone completely one must strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.
“Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”- Bob Marley