Red Lipstick

red lipstick

Red Lipstick of little hope –  A good write up by  Twinkle Khanna

My grandmother is 77. She has perfectly coloured hair with not a root in sight, her nails artfully manicured and her clothes always immaculate. I tease her about her interest in all these superficial things and she exclaims that I, in my dal-stained jeans, have always been a total disgrace to the family. Every Friday, she goes for her prayers in the prettiest cotton saris with a string of pearls around her neck.

What is so extraordinary about her story, you may wonder?

She is a woman who has seen three out of her four children die before her very eyes.
Sometimes I think the tiny joy she gets from her little indulgences is what keeps her going and distracts her from the anguish she must have gone through seeing what she has.

My childhood friends – two lovely sisters – lost their mother a few years ago. When I went for the prayer meeting, I was slightly taken aback to see them wearing a lot of makeup. I would have judged them as very shallow if I had not been close to their family and knew how much they had loved their mother and how devastated they were at her demise. Maybe this was their way of getting through this terrible day, maybe they needed a mask to keep everything together, maybe their mom who I had never seen without a large bright bindi on her forehead, would be the only one who understood

My friend recently separated from her husband. She now lives alone with her young daughter, goes to the gym every single day and is looking like a million bucks. Her wardrobe has changed dramatically from kurtas to pretty dresses. Every once in a while, we catch up for coffee and each time I see her, she seems to look leaner, fitter and happier.

I go to visit a family friend in the hospital. She has been dealing with cancer for a while now and though she is lucky to have tremendous family support, only she knows what it is like to deal with fear and pain on a daily basis. She is sitting in her hospital bed in her pajamas, with a turban jauntily perched on her head. And on her lips, she is wearing the brightest, happiest red lipstick. When I ask her about it, she says that whenever she feels low and run down, she puts on her lipstick and it just cheers her up tremendously.

A pretty dress, a new haircut, a string of pearls are all trivial material things that should not matter because they have nothing to do with our inner self, but we forget that our physical form is strongly connected to our identity. It is how we interact with the world around us.

When my family friend puts on her red lipstick, she is telling the world that she still has HOPE.

There is no one of us who doesn’t experience problems in life…Never allow them to drag you down….Sometimes, the only thing you have left is HOPE.

Hope that every tomorrow of yours is more special than yesterday..

On that note …Put on the Red Lipstick. Adjust the crown on your head and Face the world!!

Madhavi    Related image

 

 

 

PC:Shutterstock

Be good to yourself.

self love

“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” –Unknown

 It was one of those nights. I was at a wedding, enjoying myself thoroughly and then someone popped the question:  “So, what do you do?

Within a few seconds my fun, happy, playful side vanished and in entered a girl full of doubts and insecurity.

The truth was… I had no freaking idea about what I was doing!

I didn’t have a “corporate job” so to speak. Besides looking after an aged parent, managing and running a home and other domestic affairs, I have been on a journey of self discovery since I don’t know how long. That question stripped me down to feeling naked and exposed. And because I didn’t have a job title, I had nothing externally to “prove” my worthiness with.

Of course I have had many moments of doubt in the past too, but even when I doubted myself, I always said yes to life and tried to find something worthwhile to do with my time.

But that day when that question hit me, did I for a moment confuse self-confidence with self-esteem? Oops! Maybe I did.

I know Self-confidence is about trusting yourself and your abilities. While  Self-esteem, on the other hand, is about how you see yourself. It’s about your perception of your worth.

Well, if you are high-achiever, it’s easy to trick yourself and think you have self-esteem. Until you aren’t one. That’s when the sh*t hits the fan…What do you do in such circumstances?

They say your biggest breakdowns often become your greatest breakthroughs. So can you say that no matter what happens on the outside, do you treat still yourself with love, care, and respect or not? I myself have some off days, when everything around me makes me want to think otherwise.

Come to think of it, why does self love take so much of an effort when ideally it should be the most natural thing in the world? I mean you really are the Only One, who you will be spending the rest of your life with, isn’t it?

It’s easy to be loving toward ourselves when things go as planned, when we succeed and people like us. But when things fall apart, we screw up or get rejected. That’s when we are the hardest on ourselves. And that’s exactly when we must choose to be the most loving and forgiving with ourselves.

One thing I’ve had a hard time accepting about myself is that at times, and for no real reason, I can get very nervous. Sometimes the simplest of things feel very difficult. Instead of rejecting this nervous side of myself, I’m reminding myself to accept it.

Desires are very powerful things. We should never ever give them up or lose focus on them.  When we manifest those desires, we feel good about ourselves, and our thinking is aligned with how our soul/higher self sees us.

Life is full of ups and downs. Health can transfer into disease. Successes can be turned into collapses. Romantic love can be transformed into coldness. But, no matter what happens on the outside, we must still have a solid foundation built on self-love. Self-love should never be a luxury; it should be as natural as breathing.

We must realize that only by caring for ourselves, can we truly care for this world.

Remember all your actions have a ripple effect on others.

Be love and be loving !

madhavi