Be good to yourself.

self love

“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” –Unknown

 It was one of those nights. I was at a wedding, enjoying myself thoroughly and then someone popped the question:  “So, what do you do?

Within a few seconds my fun, happy, playful side vanished and in entered a girl full of doubts and insecurity.

The truth was… I had no freaking idea about what I was doing!

I didn’t have a “corporate job” so to speak. Besides looking after an aged parent, managing and running a home and other domestic affairs, I have been on a journey of self discovery since I don’t know how long. That question stripped me down to feeling naked and exposed. And because I didn’t have a job title, I had nothing externally to “prove” my worthiness with.

Of course I have had many moments of doubt in the past too, but even when I doubted myself, I always said yes to life and tried to find something worthwhile to do with my time.

But that day when that question hit me, did I for a moment confuse self-confidence with self-esteem? Oops! Maybe I did.

I know Self-confidence is about trusting yourself and your abilities. While  Self-esteem, on the other hand, is about how you see yourself. It’s about your perception of your worth.

Well, if you are high-achiever, it’s easy to trick yourself and think you have self-esteem. Until you aren’t one. That’s when the sh*t hits the fan…What do you do in such circumstances?

They say your biggest breakdowns often become your greatest breakthroughs. So can you say that no matter what happens on the outside, do you treat still yourself with love, care, and respect or not? I myself have some off days, when everything around me makes me want to think otherwise.

Come to think of it, why does self love take so much of an effort when ideally it should be the most natural thing in the world? I mean you really are the Only One, who you will be spending the rest of your life with, isn’t it?

It’s easy to be loving toward ourselves when things go as planned, when we succeed and people like us. But when things fall apart, we screw up or get rejected. That’s when we are the hardest on ourselves. And that’s exactly when we must choose to be the most loving and forgiving with ourselves.

One thing I’ve had a hard time accepting about myself is that at times, and for no real reason, I can get very nervous. Sometimes the simplest of things feel very difficult. Instead of rejecting this nervous side of myself, I’m reminding myself to accept it.

Desires are very powerful things. We should never ever give them up or lose focus on them.  When we manifest those desires, we feel good about ourselves, and our thinking is aligned with how our soul/higher self sees us.

Life is full of ups and downs. Health can transfer into disease. Successes can be turned into collapses. Romantic love can be transformed into coldness. But, no matter what happens on the outside, we must still have a solid foundation built on self-love. Self-love should never be a luxury; it should be as natural as breathing.

We must realize that only by caring for ourselves, can we truly care for this world.

Remember all your actions have a ripple effect on others.

Be love and be loving !

madhavi

Powerful lessons from The Alchemist

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Do you ever enjoy spending time alone? I mean really alone with no one but just your thoughts for company.

What do you think about? Your career, your significant other, your finances, and the way your life is shaping up? Do these thoughts make you feel satisfied and content with your life or do you feel the itch to change something about the course your life is headed towards?

Like you I too find myself constantly under a cloud of these thousand and one, random thoughts that appear in my mind. And to quieten the commotion of silent noise they create in my head, I end up either indulging in some hobby or reading a motivational book.

And ‘The Alchemist’ is one such book. I read that book whenever I need a ‘pick me up’.

I am sure you all must have read this book. If you haven’t, you must, immediately. There are some books which will teach you lessons for life, and this one is definitely on top of the list. There thousands of books which share their advice on dreams, but this book will plunge you into the whole new world of possibilities where you’ll discover that there is nothing as important as following your dreams & destiny.

It’s a masterpiece from the Brazilian novelist Paulo Coelho. The Alchemist’s main theme is finding one’s destiny. The whole journey teaches us to follow our hearts and dreams; we should always seize the opportunities life offers in the pursuit of whatever makes us happy.

Personally, I can safely say that it is one of my most favourite reads. I have read and reread this book multiple times, and everytime I find something new in its story. It inspired me more than any other book I’ve ever read. Some of the most awesome quotes can be found deep within its pages. Quotes that have a left a lasting impression on my mind.

Quotes like “Whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you want something, it is because that desire originated in the soul of the Universe. It is your mission on earth. To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only real obligation. All things are one. When you want something; All the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”.

Do you believe in this? Well, I most definitely do.

We must understand that our dreams are not silly or that our selfish desires should not be ignored. We must understand that everything in the universe is connected. This quote also introduces the concept of the soul of the universe, suggestive to the idea that a person’s purpose in life centers on fulfilling one’s desires.

When “your desire originates in the soul of the Universe” means your desire and the desire of the Soul of The Universe is same.

So if you desire something with happiness and if you find joy working on that dream, then you nourished the soul of the Universe. When you nourished the soul of the Universe for that particular desire, the whole universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

No matter how badly you want something but if you want it with desperation, if you want it because you feel sad without it then you won’t get it. If you want something with the feelings of anger or sadness or frustration, then the Universe can’t make it true for you. Because with all these negative feelings, you are weakening the soul of the Universe and making the desire die within it. You just need to keep faith in yourself and be persistent in that direction. It is the one greatest truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe.”

Or –At a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie.”

Do you believe you have no control over your life? Are you who you are today, by choice or by fate? Many people have given up on their dreams. Agreed, that some of us are born to have easy lives, while some are born to take a more challenging path. Perhaps the limitations and obstacles you face today are part of your journey — you must overcome them to grow stronger on the path to achieving your goals. But sometimes somewhere along the way, your dreams get buried under the reality of daily living. The focus shifts from ‘living the dream’ to just ‘Survival first’, as they call it. The sad part is that many people spend much of their lives doing what they don’t like, I say, that’s a great way to bury your happiness and turn into an economic slave. Doing what you dislike, day after day, will numb the sense of joy within you. Soon you will feel that your life has no greater purpose, and there is nothing to look forward to but work, work, work…You will have forgotten how much fun it is to spend your time doing the things you like to do.

Another gem – “It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.

Hope. What a wonderful four-letter word this is. The beauty of life is hidden in the hope and in the possibilities that it someday your dreams will manifest.

And another – “Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams”.

Fear holds many of us back in life. The fear of failing, of rejection and of other’s opinions can impact us so heavily that we only fail ourselves by our own inaction. We’ve heard it many times before: The thought of something is often worse than the thing itself. Don’t underestimate your own resilience. It just sums up the feeling that when you follow your heart and your intuitions, you’re going exactly on the path where you’re supposed to go.

This one always keep me motivated – “The darkest hour of midnight comes just before dawn.”

My God do I know this or what? So many times, when I have almost given up this reminds me that there is hope, even in the worst of circumstances. Life is never going to be easy, for anyone. The difficulties the hardships the daily grind of taking one more step, I mean who hasn’t been through it, right? This quote is a reminder for me and anyone reading this, that it’s just one more hour of darkness before the light hits me with its brilliance, and that I must never give up on my dreams, on my hopes.

And finally – “When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”

Love. That word conjures up so many images in our minds. Nowadays pure, unadulterated love is so difficult to find. Why do the partners searching for perfection in the other and try to change them by moulding them in their own desired way. That’s not love but a mere illusion. They are in love with the idea of being in love. But real love should be the one that help us to find our true self. The only way love can last a lifetime is if it’s unconditional. It should be a romance that goes beyond the stars and the moon. One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.

If there is anything that I want you to take away from this post it is this: to be passionate about everything you do and to not be afraid to fail.

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.”

 

madhavi