Be your own kind of beautiful

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Hey you, you are beautiful!

And you know what makes you so?

It’s the pure love shining bright from your eyes.

That’s what real beauty is.

Don’t go by the people who body shame you, or the people who mock at your sense of dressing or who ridicule you at your make up not done right. And what is right anyway. There are no parameters for having a level of outer beauty that can define you. There is no rule book made in the world that will label what beautiful should look like.

I have seen and met women who have had plastic injected into their bodies, some even as young as 25 years old, to achieve perfection of their shells as I like to call it. And believe me it doesn’t look as charming as the one whose radiance shines through her eyes.

I know we have been bombarded with fashion magazines inflicting on the fact that beautiful looking people experience life very differently from the average looking ones. Strangers walk up to them complimenting them on their beauty, physical appearance and their confidence. And how they have the advantage of that coveted job, and exceptional service at restaurants and stores, than the plain Jane’s ever do.

But do you think these beach babes or even actresses look perfect 24/7?

No way!! It’s all about the make-up, the lights and angles, and a whole team of stylists who make sure they look as close to perfection can get, before their pictures are shown to the public.

Some women on the other hand may or may not have the drop dead gorgeous looks and may not always be shining or perfect. Their beauty is not only about wearing the perfectly fitted dress or having flawless skin. They may not feel the need to smooth out their wrinkles surgically or wearing hair extensions to look pretty. For them beauty may have an altogether different meaning.

The internet is an insanely wonderful place. And we are living in an era where technology like photo shop and air brushing, literally makes all things possible.  With an entire industry focused on masking flaws and insecurities about you, it’s difficult not to get swayed by the whole exercise

However if I could use this platform and say this one thing to the woman who has started to feel the heat of not being “insta-worthy perfect”, is to see how truly wonderful and beautiful she really is. I would tell her to break the so called stereotypes of perfection in beauty, and see beyond the outer skin and find the purity and love in their own heart.

And as for me, lazing in my pj’s , my hair coiled up in a messy bun, my face clean of any makeup and not having the need to check on myself in the mirror every 2 minutes is like being in a state of constant bliss.

I feel beautiful when the people closest to me tell me how much I mean to them.

I feel beautiful when I can put a smile on someone else’s face.

I feel beautiful, when I see the flaws in me, and my skin and accept them knowing that there is no pressure to being a perfect beauty.

When I am walking barefoot on the beach, the waves kissing my toes, the wind blowing through my curls and making them even more unruly, the setting sun casting its warm golden glow on my face, and the peace filling up in my heart in knowing that I am loved for just being me -that’s when I feel utterly and completely beautiful.

How about you?

When do you truly feel beautiful? Do share in the comments.

-M

 

 

 

Love hurts

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You know the inevitable will happen. And you start preparing yourself mentally to accept things. But no matter how prepared you are to that , you are never ready when it does. All your fears and pains just cling to your heart till you can take it no more and you are on the verge of a breakdown.

And then there is this thing – you have to smile through it all even though you are breaking apart from the inside. You hide your pain from the people around you and find excuses to run to the bathroom so you can cry your eyes out. But even then the pain refuses to leave your body .

So what do you do? You live with it till you are numb to all of these emotions. You smile through your tears , but dying every moment while you are still breathing. 

Why does loving someone hurt so much?

-M

Losing Someone

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Isn’t it strange, how many ways there are to miss someone? You miss the things they did and who they were, and you also miss who you were to them, and how much you mattered.

Coping with loss is a strange concept. I suppose we are never prepared to handle how to “cope.” I think you live with it, as best you can. I don’t think we ever really get over it. We just get up and continue on every day, but somewhere deep down we are different because of it.

These are things I learned from losing people I love. I still say love, present tense.

When you have lost someone you love — I mean really, truly loved — you start to notice grief in other people too. The reaction you get when you share your loss with them, can tell so much.  It’s like they get a strange look in their eyes if they have lost someone too. You start to recognize each other like you are part of some terrible club.

If I had to put the look in their eyes into a word it would be tired. Grief can make you so terribly tired. You get so sick of carrying all the weight in your heart.

Life keeps happening even if you need time to grieve. And you find yourself faced with the dilemma of the huge life ahead of you. Minutes, hours, weeks, months, years….. all seems too impossible to tread at that moment.We just learn to live from one moment to the next, taking each breath as it comes. .

I have to say I think it is cruel that the world does not stop when one needs time to grieve. No one teaches you what it feels to lose someone or how to walk your way through it. No one tells you about the stages of grief.

And that they do not come in any specific order, or that they do not have a time frame. These five emotionally heavy stages of grief , namely; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance do not happen chronologically.

Of course, how we almost wish they each happened in a specific order. That way, we could wait for one to pass and check it off the list, getting closer to the final stage of acceptance.

The reality is that the bad days do not ever really go away, and that is okay. Some days are marked on the calendar — anniversaries, birthdays, holidays. And it is okay to miss someone on those days.Even if it happened a long time ago it still matters. It may also be a blessing to know this pain, to have had someone who made saying good-bye so impossibly hard.

You are never ready for big changes, even if you think you are. And that’s the truth- things hit you the least way you expect them to— even if you have had time to prepare for it.

When we mourn, we often forget that we did not just lose them; we lost part of ourselves too.Everything changes in an instant you cannot control, and you are left to deal with the aftermath.

I want to remember the people I love and I want to keep talking about them. Everyone deals with it differently, and there is no wrong way to do it. I will not let death take away the good memories I have of someone or make the time I spent with them seem less important, while remembering the beautiful moments you spent with them.

I know that is what they would want for me, and how they would want to be remembered — with love and joy instead of pain and tears.

To my Mom and Dad, who taught me so much more than the things in this list. I love you, present tense. I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity and how much I still miss you. You gave me a forever within the numbered days we shared.

And to my Mom- in- law who taught me to be content with the little things, but dare to dream of the bigger ones.

I hope you’d be proud of who I have become.

And to everyone who has lost, and to those who will understand this. I pray for you to have days where you think of them and smile. 

-Madhavi