A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”
Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”
Passenger: “Sounds like he was really something special.”
Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.”
Passenger: “Wow, what a guy!”
Cabbie: ‘He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”
Passenger: “How did you meet him?”
Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”
Well isn’t Perfection such a myth? It’s like climbing a staircase that never ends. Being “perfect” isn’t something that is taught or found in a “how to” book; it’s something you find within yourself. The most important thing is being honest with yourself and accepting who you really are. The moment you’re comfortable in your own skin, and are doing things you love … that’s the moment you’ll know perfection.
When we are ensnared by the vision of a perfect person, we compare all others to an unreachable standard… and find everyone lacking. Our expectation that a perfect person exists is surely to guarantee failure. The demand for compatibility is never satisfied. When people agree about almost everything, the few points of difference can still seem — to them — enormous. …the ‘right person’ is specified so closely that they will never find such a person; they will always be disappointed because whoever they find will fall short in some way.
Waiting for Mr/Ms Perfect to come along is to say that you have no personal responsibility for what happens to you. When a relationship fails, we do not consider that we might lack humility, empathy or understanding. Instead, we invoke a convenient excuse and say, “We just weren’t right for each other.”
Love is not simply about finding the right person. It’s also about cultivating a set of valuable skills: kindness, sympathy, and understanding. But no matter what, always remember, relationships are hard, complicated, triggering, and yet so utterly worthwhile if we do the work. Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. To love someone completely one must strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.
“Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”- Bob Marley