Be good to yourself.

self love

“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” –Unknown

 It was one of those nights. I was at a wedding, enjoying myself thoroughly and then someone popped the question:  “So, what do you do?

Within a few seconds my fun, happy, playful side vanished and in entered a girl full of doubts and insecurity.

The truth was… I had no freaking idea about what I was doing!

I didn’t have a “corporate job” so to speak. Besides looking after an aged parent, managing and running a home and other domestic affairs, I have been on a journey of self discovery since I don’t know how long. That question stripped me down to feeling naked and exposed. And because I didn’t have a job title, I had nothing externally to “prove” my worthiness with.

Of course I have had many moments of doubt in the past too, but even when I doubted myself, I always said yes to life and tried to find something worthwhile to do with my time.

But that day when that question hit me, did I for a moment confuse self-confidence with self-esteem? Oops! Maybe I did.

I know Self-confidence is about trusting yourself and your abilities. While  Self-esteem, on the other hand, is about how you see yourself. It’s about your perception of your worth.

Well, if you are high-achiever, it’s easy to trick yourself and think you have self-esteem. Until you aren’t one. That’s when the sh*t hits the fan…What do you do in such circumstances?

They say your biggest breakdowns often become your greatest breakthroughs. So can you say that no matter what happens on the outside, do you treat still yourself with love, care, and respect or not? I myself have some off days, when everything around me makes me want to think otherwise.

Come to think of it, why does self love take so much of an effort when ideally it should be the most natural thing in the world? I mean you really are the Only One, who you will be spending the rest of your life with, isn’t it?

It’s easy to be loving toward ourselves when things go as planned, when we succeed and people like us. But when things fall apart, we screw up or get rejected. That’s when we are the hardest on ourselves. And that’s exactly when we must choose to be the most loving and forgiving with ourselves.

One thing I’ve had a hard time accepting about myself is that at times, and for no real reason, I can get very nervous. Sometimes the simplest of things feel very difficult. Instead of rejecting this nervous side of myself, I’m reminding myself to accept it.

Desires are very powerful things. We should never ever give them up or lose focus on them.  When we manifest those desires, we feel good about ourselves, and our thinking is aligned with how our soul/higher self sees us.

Life is full of ups and downs. Health can transfer into disease. Successes can be turned into collapses. Romantic love can be transformed into coldness. But, no matter what happens on the outside, we must still have a solid foundation built on self-love. Self-love should never be a luxury; it should be as natural as breathing.

We must realize that only by caring for ourselves, can we truly care for this world.

Remember all your actions have a ripple effect on others.

Be love and be loving !

madhavi

Live +ve

positive

 

Many a times we feel as if we are living life in a rut. We continue doing the same things over and over again monotonously, with no respite from them, and without realizing that they are taking a toll on our mental well-being.

Often we merely manage to stay afloat in spite of the numerous hurdles just because duty calls for it. It takes a lot of nerve to stay reasonably sane. You then resort to drinking and smoking to drown out the unanswered prayers, or begin to party hard just to pretend that everything is going well.

Life sucks even more when you go online and see so many people portraying that they are having a blast.

However having a confidante or a friend who will listen to your sob stories without judging you does help. You value that at least they know where you stand. They don’t disapprove of you or try to offer a carrot stick, but genuinely understand your woes and offer you not only a shoulder to cry on but also give solutions to make your life bearable. They send you motivation morning messages everyday on WhatsApp just so that you can live through another day with a smile on your face. It does have a reassuring effect on your psyche to see that caring friends have your back, but after a few days, the gloom creeps back on you and its back to square one.

But think about it …By adopting a positive mindset, our resilience does increase along with our capacity to explore the world, while feeling confident and secure. Negative thoughts and emotions, on the other hand, can skew our perspective and in the long-term, damage our self-esteem.

It’s said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. There is an inherent truth to that, as we, as social creatures, pick up on the habits, behaviors, and attitudes of those around us. What that means is that if you want the strength and positivity to get through anything, you must keep your circle of friends and associates as healthy as you can. Wherever possible, and in situations such as work where you may not have control, you must learn how to practice positivity so its spreads to those around you.

Much of what we see in the world is a reflection of how we feel inside. The brain is literally creating your experience moment to moment. This means that your prefrontal cortex, which deals with your thoughts, is relaying information to your mammalian cortex, which handles emotions. These emotions then go on to inform deeper and older parts of the brain, including sensory experience and pain. This means that when we say a positive attitude can recreate your reality, it’s not just a metaphor, it’s a physiological fact!

Gratitude is a key tenet in all major philosophies, religions, and schools of thought, because gratitude is a foundation of positive thinking. When you are able to be appreciative of what you have, your brain is unable to give life and energy to thoughts about what you don’t have. Seeing events in your life as gifts allow you to perceive how they may help you grow and become a better person, and the application of this attitude during tough times is the hallmark of resilience.

Because positivity is so infectious, it naturally becomes a quality that other people want in their lives. Positivity is an extremely attractive personality trait, and it becomes an inspiration for everyone else. Writing, meditation, affirmations, and integrating more play into your life are all ways that you can rewire your brain to be more focused on the positive aspects of your experience.

And when it gets too much for you to bear, look up positive quotes, poems, articles, etc to help you tide over the misery. There’s a cliché in the personal development world that can be polarizing. Some people shy away from Positive Thinking, believing it to be cheap or tacky, while others swear by it as if it was some sort of magic pill.

And often one of the best ways to get into the habit of thinking positively is to peak into the minds of other positive people’s quotes by reading what they’ve said or written. Although our lives are filled with unexpected challenges, and some of us will have a more difficult time than others, I do hope these quotes about positivity will help you get through anything.

Sharing below some of the quotes which are my personal favorites.

 

  •  “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”- Oprah Winfrey

 

  • “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.”-Helen Keller

 

  • “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”- Lucille Ball

 

  • “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”-Rumi

 

  •  “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” -Lao Tzu

 

  • “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” –Gandhi

 

  • “Tough times never last, but tough people do.”-Dr. Robert Schuller

 

  • “There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way.” -Christopher Morley

 

  • “The best way out is always through.”-Robert Frost

 

  • “Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.”-Christopher Reeve

 

  • “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”-Napoleon Hill

 

  • “The only place where your dreams become impossible is in your own thinking,”- Robert H Schuller

 

  •  “We become what we think about.”- Early Nightingale

 

  •  “Surround yourself with the dreamers, and the doers, the believers, and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.”-Edmund Lee

 

 

Sending you much love and hope !!

madhavi 🙂